This chicken has been marinated in red velvet cupcake batter, tossed in toasted cupcake crumbs, and then chucked into the deep fryer.

The cupcake-battered fried chicken is currently on the menu at American Cupcake in San Francisco, the same city that is considering banning the happy meal because of its presumed role in the fattening of our nation's children. (Might I suggest the Unhappy Meal as a replacement?) Specifically, the proposed legislation proscribes the happy meal toy unless certain nutritional requirements are met. By the meal, not the toy. Unless the toy is delicious play-doh in which case it should be fortified with vitamins and minerals. Otherwise, the meal needs to include fruits and vegetables and can't be dripping with fat and grease. Where's the happy in that? Why can't I have my cake on my chicken and eat it, too?

You know how this makes me feel?

Like a cupcake taking a dump! Confused? Exactly!