Robotic seals are the latest in Japanese sex toy technology.

You wish, perv! They're actually therapeutic aids designed to mimic the positive effects of pet therapy. So you get all of the healing cuddliness of an adorable baby harp seal with none of the steaming piles of seal turds. Whatever. I'm sure people have sex with them. They're practically begging for it with those sweetly expressive eyes and those plump little bodies. It's a good thing their fur is antibacterial and soil resistant because I have a feeling those pups are gonna get awfully dirty!

Watch one of the little tarts in action:

The healing baby seal-bot will set you back more than $5500. Yikes. I wonder if I can get one prescribed to me and then have my insurance cover it.