This is the tag from a pair of underpants I recently purchased:

What an age we live in!

I'm not exactly sure how a pair of low-rise underpants is supposed to prevent the dreaded muffin topping, but what do I know? I'm no underwear scientist! Now if my underwear prevents my muffin top and I get some of those shoes that tone muscles and promote weight loss, I'll never have to exercise again! And I can eat all the lard I want! USA! USA!

But seriously, why would you want to prevent muffin top in the first place? Everyone knows the most delicious part of the muffin is the top!

My muffin top is all that.