While on our way to a churrascaria for thanksgiving dinner, my mother-in-law and I were discussing the automatic holy water dispenser, a recent innovation in holy water dispensing technology triggered by the fear of swine flu.

The preferred method of holy water dispensation at my childhood church was a sopping wet sponge resting in a bowl. God knows what else that sponge was soaked with. I recall pressing my sinful fingers into it, sure that it transmitted some kind of magical power. As a girl, I was convinced that once I had applied some holy water, I was free to do whatever the hell I wanted for half an hour. I don't know where I got that idea, but I committed some of my worst sins just after dousing myself with some of the absolving liquid. Of course, the mysterious sponge was probably just transmitting disease. However, strangely enough, I never felt guilty for the bad things I did while hopped up on the holy water. That would be the disturbing power of belief.

So, this led to a discussion of other changes that the church could make in their distribution techniques to prevent the spread of disease. Like, how about a Jesus Pez Dispenser?

Body of christ never tasted so good!

While this is obviously some kind of art project (source unknown), it turns out that the Jesus Pez Dispenser is real!

Though it's nowhere near as cool looking.