I'd like a giant unicorn water slide please.

Some friends from New Mexico are coming to visit next month and I've been researching possible field trip options. That's how I found the Fiberglass Animals, Shapes, and Trademarks (FAST) Corporation. FAST makes all kinds of weird fiberglass statues, ranging from the merely large (like Big Boy statues) to the gigantic (like a 145' long muskie). They're located just outside Sparta, Wisconsin, about two hours northwest of Madison. Visitors may or may not be lucky enough to see one of the freshly poured or painted statues but they are free to wander through the Mold Yard, which is the graveyard for hundreds of used molds.

After browsing through the company's extensive catalog, my favorite pieces are definitely the water slides.

With five or six of these slides and the Glorious Conch Fountain, my vision of aquatic design could be achieved. And I'd finally have a sweet hangout spot for my mermaid gang.

But I also really want, nay, need this seven foot tall turkey head!

Get out of my dreams and into my car, Big Ass Turkey Head!